I am fluent in 3 languages—English, Sarcasm, and Profanity. My soul was removed to make room for the sarcasm.
On the internet, you can be whatever you want. Strangely, so many people chose to be stupid.
Warning: I drink coffee for your protection.
I'm not rude, you're just insignificant. I have multiple personalities, and none of them like you.
If you hold me to standards you cannot meet yourself, you will earn my disfavor.
Enough with the selfies, we know what you look like.
I’m making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me again, then you were one of them.
If you never plan to get married, none of the sex you have is premarital.
If you go home with someone and they don't have books, don't fuck them.
I have never done the walk of shame, but I have done the stride of pride.
Sometimes I put my hands on the floor, tuck my head into my chest, and lean forward. That's how I roll.
Face down, ass up, that's the way I tie my shoes.
My neighbors listen to good music, whether they like it or not.
I am appropriately inappropriate, and utterly unashamed.
I am only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.
You are the result of 4 billion years of evolutionary success. Please act like it.
Remove one article of clothing, and call the person you love the most. If you end up naked on the phone with your grandmother, never speak to me again.
And finally, life's a bitch, make it your bitch!
Rules of Life
Privacy is power. People can’t ruin what they don’t know. Have discretion.
The cost of growth is sometimes loneliness. Appreciate solitude.
Everything is temporary. Nothing lasts forever, even the life you are given.
So many people are fighting silent battles. Be kind.
Your partner is a reflection of you. Choose wisely.
Your mental health is more important than anyone’s feelings.
You don’t need more time. You need fewer distractions.
Honor your time. Those who don’t respect it don’t deserve it.
Go where you’re loved, appreciated, recognized, respected, and valued without having to ask for it.
Self-love isn't selfish.
Anyone who makes your life easier is a big blessing. Hold onto them.
Choose your inner circle wisely.
Peace of mind is priceless.
Don’t be desperate to be in love. Live and love will find you.
Surround yourself with people who encourage you to grow, not hold you back.
Have no regrets in life; mistakes are just lessons learned the hard way.
Go for someone proud to have you. Don’t settle for someone available
Never give up. Everyone has bad days; pick yourself up and keep going.
Everyone gets tired. It’s ok to rest and recharge. Don’t use being tired as a reason to quit.
Disappear sometimes, and come back better than before.
Learning from people's success is smart; learning from people's mistakes is genius.
How to be happy: don't expect anything from anyone - people owe you nothing.
Everything will be alright, maybe not today, but eventually.
Keep grinding. Your day is coming.
It’s so attractive when you get the same effort you give.
Stop being considerate in situations where you aren’t considered.
If nobody will help you, do it alone, and don’t complain about it
Be obsessed with improving yourself.
A conversation about how you feel is not supposed to end in an argument.
“I’ll do it tomorrow” is an excuse.
Don’t be the same, be better.
It's better to wait than to force things to happen.
Not everyone will understand you, and that's okay.
Heal so you don’t become the people who traumatized you.
Keep only friends who keep you.
If they need you temporarily, ignore them permanently.
Everyone leaves. Learn how to survive alone.
People start hating you when they cannot control you.
Focus on improving yourself, not proving yourself.
Never, ever, run back to what broke you.
People make their own choices. Don’t defend someone who chose to be stupid.
Don’t bleed on the ones who didn’t cut you.
Respect your limitations, don’t use them as an excuse.
Don’t let your fear become a cage for someone else.
Sometimes life can be a bitch. Sometimes you have to be a bitch.
Never apologize for being yourself.
Never apologize for who you love.
Never apologize for not being what society wants you to be.
Never apologize for proudly living your best fucking life.
Enjoy the little things in life. They mean the most.
You get 4200 weeks if you’re lucky. Don’t wait.
Schedule your priorities, or someone else will.
The most dangerous addiction is seeking the approval of other people.
Don’t have an opinion on things you know nothing about.
Your habits are the architects of your life. Build something beautiful.
Not everything requires a reaction.
Silence is a response.
The only person who will show up to save you… is you.
Treat rest as a right, not a reward.
Good manners don't cost anything.
Always ask. They can only say no.
You can't control what others do, but you can control your own reactions.
Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.
The greatest day in your life is when you take total responsibility for your attitudes. That's the day you truly grow up.
True freedom is understanding that we have a choice in who and what we allow to have power over us.
Happiness is a choice.
Never doubt your instinct.
Stop beating yourself up about the past.
Be a voice, not a noise.
Silence holds more power than any argument.
Honor your potential
Stay focused when distractions call.
Do what terrifies you
Adapt. Evolve. Repeat Daily.
Learn that the consequence of your action does not make you a victim.
Sometimes their behavior is all the answer you need.
Wash your ass.